Kassandra (:

I get the most flack from anybody but I don’t do anything illegal.

happiest:

do you ever burp and sound like satan or is that just me

deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

clit-licking-good:

fifth-may:

when someone you don’t like touches you

image

Pingu ❤❤❤

spookycasfucker:

#THE CUTEST FUCKING DEMON EVER

spookycasfucker:

#THE CUTEST FUCKING DEMON EVER

darbroy:

"five million people see the grand canyon every year". factoid actually a statistical error. 0 people see the grand canyon every year. Captain Garcia Lopez de Cardenas, who discovered the grand canyon, is an outlier and should not have been counted

psychofactz:

More?

sleezed:

I really wanna fuck in a pool. Like the possibilities are endless. My god. But it’s like. Our pool. In our backyard you feel me. Boy. Bet I be eating pussy under water. That’s some wavy next level shit. Put on my goggles. And i’m gone. That’d be some shit if i’m eating her and she’s so into it and she feels me stop and is like ” baby ? ” and i’m on the other side of the pool floating dead. I forgot I needed air. Ain’t even come up smh

me: wow i finally understand math
moves on to next question
me: what the hell is this

sydney-oh25:

This is an important moment in history.

missyay:

nazerine:

excessivecompulsive:

nazerine:

the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people

you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great

wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me

in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth

captaintightpanties:

OH MY GOD WHENEVER I SAW “COSMO SEX TIPS” I DIDN’T REALISE PEOPLE MEANT THE MAGAZINE I WAS ALWAYS IMAGINING

image

guy:

a reoccurring thought during any conversation

guy:

a reoccurring thought during any conversation